Title: Weekend Serenity

 

The Music was loud and the wings were sizzling on what was a sunny, cool and breezy Saturday afternoon.  “I’m going to have a few over, not too many”, said Rodney, who was one of my more humors male friends.  Apparently his definition of the word few interprets as short skirts all over the place.  Hi, I’m Larry Austin and this little “get together” Rodney is hosting was supposed to be several of my buddies and a couple of girls.  I spelled it out to Rodney plain and clear, only a couple because I couldn’t deal with another attack after Kisha.

What the hell’s wrong with these girls like Kisha?  They see a really tall man like my self and somehow assume I can do something for them a shorter man can’t and because of that, the nibbling never stops.  God, I thought I was going to die from protein loss given the way Kisha was taking those loads down.  What pisses me off is when your heart is pausing, your breath is thin, your head’s spinning and your chest is up against your chin, telling girls like Kisha to slow down or give it a rest just ends up having the opposite effect of what was attended.  I bet if I was a half head shorter than her in height, she wouldn’t have acted so freaking hungrily.

Anyway,

So there I was at this barbeque with some of my buddies and some of my buddies’ buddies and more chicks than you can shake a cross at.  That which lurks underneath all the short skirts bouncing around Rodney’s yard was hot as Hell itself, but I tell you the beer was on ice, just the way I like.  As I looked around at this lovely attendance, it didn’t take me long to realize I was the tallest guy under the sun at the moment and that had me worried.  You know what?  I’m just being silly because there are some good looking guys here who are well groomed and no reason at all for the hot “mamas” strutting around to over look these guys.  With that thought, I felt some peace come over me and the thoughts of another “Kisha attack” were fading away.

Kicked back on one of Rodney’s patio recliners, I popped open a cold beer while gazing up at the sky.  I was thinking about how I was so going to tear up those wings being flipped over by “my boy” Rodney but such an edible thought was interrupted as something massive flopped across my body.  I looked down at my waist only to see one of the thickest, most well defined and smooth thighs I have ever seen in my life.  I was hesitant to look over at my side to see exactly which babe owned such a “nutt buster” of a leg.

Lord behold…  Green eyes, brunette hair, perfect facial structure and a smile created solely for the purpose of getting laid.  “Nice hamhock you got there mam”, I so idiotically blurted out.  Way to go Larry!  Now the girl’s letting that ball draining giggle creep from that gorgeous face of hers, which is already sending ice cold shivers up my spine.  “You must be Larry?  Your friend Rodney told me a lot about you”, she said.  “Oh really?  How did you even know it was me, love?” I replied.  “Well, he said you were a really tall guy so it wasn’t hard to figure out.”

There’s that word again…tall.  I tell you, every time I hear that one word things always turn out the worst for me when it comes to women I just “wanna” be friends with.  Take today for example…  I just “wanna” drink some beer, eat some “grub” off the grill and make hilarious jokes with the guys.  Why is it I have the feeling I’m going to end up separated from everyone else, alone with one of these man killers called woman, who will most likely be breathing up and down my neck as she rips through my clothing like a shark sticking its sweet tooth to prey?

“Well since you know my name I guess it’s only fair you tell me yours”, I said.  She let loose a smile shaped by the devil him self as she let it slip from her lips.  “It’s Tammy.”  At that moment I realized my chest supported some added weight.  Don’t get me wrong, I do have a big chest but I could feel a pound or two more tacked on.  I dipped my chin to see how much trouble I was in already and good God almighty…Tammy’s watermelons were laying across my “pecs” like a five hundred pound walrus.

Jesus Christ, why didn’t this girl wear a bra!?  Doesn’t she understand, beasts that huge can accidentally swing a man’s way, break his neck, educe a coma and when he wakes up, some doctor is telling him he’s paralyzed from the neck down!?  “Shouldn’t you be over there dancing with one of those studs sweet heart?  I tell you what…let me introduce you to one of my pals.  You’ll like him because he’s a real good guy.”  I then started to “uprise” from the recliner only to meet the palm of Tammy’s hand as it shoves me back downward.  “I don’t like any of those guys, they’re too short”, she said.

Too short…?  What the hell is this woman talking about?  The shortest guys here is like five foot seven and she only appears to be five foot seven her self and that’s with the three inch heels added.  It was that instance I felt my very soul curl into a ball within my flesh.  One of Tammy’s hands was carefree exploring the depths of my crotch, without one word of consent from the guy it’s attached to…me.

Here we go again with another chick who for some unknown reason feels she needs to be with a man standing near seven feet tall.  Why does society do this?  What’s the point in brainwashing these “PTYs” into thinking men must be taller than women?  It’s not like I can offer her more protection or something.  God knows if a barrel suddenly raised in this direction with threat to fire, I would quickly grab Tammy and lay her on top of me as if I was closing my own coffin door…except for the fact Tammy would be dead and I would still be breathing, hopefully.

I felt the tip of Tammy’s nose as she brought her mouth close to my ear.  “Come upstairs with me, please.”  Those were the deadly words whispered in my ear by Tammy but I bounced back quickly with a counter attack.  “You know, this is my bud’s house and I don’t know if he…” but she cuts me off and says, “Rodney already said it would be ok.  I asked him before I even came over here.”

Never in my life have I met such a devil!  I can’t believe she already had spun a trap for me and one of my own best friends aided her in her quest to empty my balls!  Crap, I haven’t even converted one chicken wing into a “turd” but yet Tammy was ready to suck up any energy I currently had; like count Dracula in the presence of a virgin’s neck with a clear path!  “Wait a minute baby, are you sure?  Just look around at all the guys here.”   That was my last second attempt to save a peaceful barbeque weekend that was suppose to be all fun and games without any “rump downs” involving Larry Austin.  Tammy jumped on top of me and her voice was like a general commanding a soldier as she said, “Don’t mess with me boy!  You’re big so that makes you Papa Smurf!”

Before I could get another word out Tammy’s nose was pressed against my face and her tongue was thrashing across my tonsil.  “Down boy!” I thought as I felt my manhood absorbing “gamma” radiation as it tried to transform into a long, thick, white, mean, “beaver” killing machine.  There I was being led by hand towards Rodney’s front door where I will apparently take that long walk of dread upstairs, ending with me face to face with a drop dead gorgeous creature called Tammy.

Man I tell you…  I don’t know what was bouncing more…my heart or those huge knockers glued to Tammy’s slender, curvy frame.  Of course, Tammy’s “bootylicious” posterior was the undisputed runner up in that little bounce contest.  Unfortunately my time has run out and I now find my self sitting on the end of a bed in one of Rodney’s many rooms.  Tammy was standing in front of me slowly taking off her clothing.  I couldn’t help but notice how she was staring at me with that upturned lip and cringed nose.  You know, the type of look someone may put on their face when they’re thinking about something extremely filthy and unholy.

Man, I was about to crap in my pants because I probably knew better than most men...  When a woman gets that kind of look across her face in the bedroom, you know she’s going to get ridiculously nasty!  I can’t stand not knowing what this woman is about to do to me and therefore sat there like a kid awaiting a thrashing for bringing home an “F” on his report card.  Tammy suddenly snapped her fingers at me, “Get out of that stuff, now!”

The tone of her voice sent me into a frenzy as I stripped off threads left and right; anything to not piss her off and add to the destruction she was already going to hand me.  Given the desperate and tense look across her face, I would say Tammy’s going to hand me my own “meat stick” on a silver platter!  The moment my pants hit my ankles, Tammy’s eyes stretched wide open and her jaw scraped against the carpet as the drool tried to make its way over her bottom lip.

I felt my body jump as Tammy sprang into forward motion.  “Oh God help me” I thought to my self as Tammy hurled her self down in front of me and engulfed my manhood all in one violent motion.  With the speed and power Tammy’s displaying right now, it sure as hell won’t take her long to get to the center of my “tootsie pop.”  Why must this happen over and over again?  Am I asking society for too much when I ask for one weekend as a normal guy, instead of the usual idol tall men have been made out to be?

One thing’s for sure, I was mad as hell at “my boy” Rodney because he gave this girl permission to do this to me in his own home!  Now that bastard is down there in the yard enjoying those grilled wings with ice cold beer, laughing at the countless number of jokes being made by the guys, while I’m stuck here with this “damphire” draining me dry!  Why is she doing this!?  I just met her only moments ago and we sure as hell didn’t exchange enough words to pay dividends for all this!  I so wish I had a magic wand with the powers to transform my self into a man standing five foot three right about now.  That would sure as hell get Tammy off of me because society doesn’t agree with girls doing what she’s doing right now to men of that nature; which is retarded because men like that and men like me…we’re the same nature.

I couldn’t help but hold the bed for support as my body quivered, abdomen tightened and strength threatened to leave my body at any moment now.  Tammy suddenly rises up and hops onto the bed knees first as she bends over, covers her “beaver” with one hand, looks back at me and says, “Just shove it in.”  Who the hell does this girl think she is!?  First she drops to her knees and start draining the life out of me and now she wants me to pretend I’m her bell boy…give me a break already!

This girl is so lucky I’m a gentlemen when it comes to a lady’s requests, otherwise I would have walked out of that room and left her enormously round backside right there on that bed.  It turns out this witch left a hole in her grand scheme…there was no lube!  “Sweetheart, maybe we should hold off on this and just get to know each other better.  Besides, we don’t have any lube and spit never works for that, know what I mean?”

Tammy then turns around, lunges up on me like a kitten, kisses me and says, “You’re sweet but no worries.  I lubed up before I left home.”  At that moment the entire room started to spin around me like I was being sucked into a black hole.  Tammy couldn’t look more evil as she repositions her self all while rolling out that devilish giggle she tossed my way back in the yard.  She then starts to “make it wink” so I can see the clear substance she had already lining her dark tunnel walls.

This is not what I wanted…  I was hoping to just talk with the girls at the “get together” I was suppose to be having, not all of this!  This is the reason I’m single right now!  There’s no way for men like me to ever just settle down with one chick and maybe get married.  The category of men society has placed me in is the one where illegitimate children are born, it’s the one where married men are humping their secretaries at work, it’s the one where a girl’s best friend “rumps” her boy friend, it’s the one where men toss away good wives for temping “PYTs”, it’s the one where single parent mothers are born and it’s the one where men like me can never be truly happy in life.

Larry Austin

My full bio can be found at http://www.pmme2.com/.  Just type my name (larry) into the search box on the left and hit go.  If you have any questions for me or wish to address me, you can do so on “mythreads” of my fan page, at PM2.

PS,

This story was not a fictional write, this really did happen.  I will be randomly writing about my life as a tall man in hopes of gaining some release from the torment it brings men like me.  Women consider men like me dogs but what they don’t understand is, they’re the ones making men like me look like dogs but that’s a double sided mirror being looked into.  Women that keep going after guys like me when they’re already taken are doing nothing but dogging them selves out.  Way too many guys out there for all of that.